I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
