It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
