can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
