she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
