he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
