Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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