All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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