gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
