I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize