that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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