He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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