im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
