So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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