So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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