HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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