were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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