i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
