I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
