i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
