yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Less talking, more tequila
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
