I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
