Whod you bang
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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