my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
