So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
