She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
