Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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