good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
