She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
