I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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