just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
