Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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