6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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