Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
