pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
