my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My vagina just clenched in fear
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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