I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
