i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
