Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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