An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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