so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize