WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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