No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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