she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize