Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
