only if we run a train.
done.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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