Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
