You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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