"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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