I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize