Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
