He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
