I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
