Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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