He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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