You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
