So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
