You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
