Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you win again, gameday.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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