I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
