there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
