I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
