I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
