he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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