You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
