hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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