woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
