he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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