we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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