Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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