Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
