Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
